Trau·ma  Junk· ie  ( 'trau-m&  'j&[ng]-kE) n. Slang
  1. One who has an insatiable interest, devotion or addiction to responding and assisting people with serious injury or shock to the body, as from violence or an accident.

How to Know That the Hospital You're In Doesn't Employ RT's

I'm not sure if there are actually hospitals that don't employ RT's, but I'm just poking some fun here. Along the lines of a post made by the Voodoo Medicine Man, here are the top 10 indicators that the hospital you are in does not employ respiratory therapists.

10. You came in hyperventilation secondary to a severe anxiety attack and before you could even state your chief complaint, you were wheeled STAT to the ER and put on a continuous albuterol nebulizer treatment and diagnosed with status asthmaticus.

9. The nurse gives you a high dose of Morphine IV after your knee replacement surgery because you are complaining of severe pain. When she goes back in to reassess your pain level and finds you to be mildly confused and disoriented, she puts you on 2 liters of oxygen, even though your SpO2 is 100% and your respiratory rate and rhythm are regular, because you "Weren't like this earlier," so you are probably "not getting enough oxygen to the brain."

8. Even though you have had COPD for the past 15 years and never sat above 85%, you suddenly wake up to find that the crash cart is parked outside of your door, "just in case."

7. You come in with a headache and diziness but do not know that you have a gas leak in your house (carbon monoxide poisoning), the doctor notes that your Sp02 is 100%, doesn't order an arterial blood gas sample and you are sent home with a prescription for meclizine.

6. If you have even a small amount of phlegm in your throat, you are given Mucomyst three times a day, of course with albuterol nebs, just because they aren't sure if you have asthma or not.

5. If the person who is deep suctioning you jumps and says "Grosss," when you cough up a huge mucus plug, chances are that hospital doesn't have a respiratory therapy department.

4. (On 6L of oxygen per nasal cannula): You complain to the doctor that your nose is really dry and you've been having nosebleeds since they put the oxygen on you. He tells you that it is just normal, and humidity is never added to it.

3. You are given a "breathing treatment" every time you are short of breath, even if the shortness of breath isn't caused by bronchospasm.

2. You've been given a bronchodilator and told the reason is so that it will "wash all that gunk outta your lungs."

And last, but not least:

1. You motion to the nurse or tech that your trach needs to be suctioned out, and they don't respond with, "I'll get respiratory in here to do that for you."

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